Aftermath: Part One

Tell me something
what you think would happen if
everytime they kill a black boy
then we kill a cop
everytime they kill a black man
then we kill a cop
you think the accident rate would lower subsequently? 

- June Jordan

I'm saying this now: this won’t be short, or sweet, or even particularly coherent. This is post is for me to vent, and perhaps shock and keep you up tonight. I’m coming off of two sleepless nights and two days of walking around feeling dazed, anxious, lost, incensed, gutted, offended, horrified, enraged, and devastated.

It’s been eight years since I last wrote about a black person being murdered at the hands of police officers and/or Anyone Who Dared To Offend A White Person’s Sensibilites. I'd stopped the practice, simply because I couldn’t stomach the continual racking up. How silly of me. How negligent. To think I could take a break from the reality of being black in America. 

And my goodness, look at all the material I’ve missed.

In these last eight years, I have privately mourned these victims. Tried to release my rage safely within pages of a journal. I've dialogued with equally disgusted friends and family, exercised my right to vote (in or out) whichever politician suckered me in or failed to keep their promise of  “dealing with issues that affect my community."  I've also spent those years practicing countless dry run scenarios with my now 25 year old son, about how to go out in this world, and make it back home alive. Because that’s the formula for inclusion and success, for my kind, right? 

Or so goes that bullshit this country likes to spout.

Monday night, I was shoved right off my wimpy ass sideline, and slapped back into the reality of what Audre Lourde warned long ago: 

Ever heard of cognitive dissonance? 

It’s when your beliefs cease to match up with reality. For instance: You go your entire life, knowing that dogs bark. And then one day, you hear a cat bark. Everywhere around you, cats start barking. You begin to question yourself, others. What’s up with that? And they reply – always been this way. And your mind is blown. How is it possible? You’ve believed one thing, and then you come across new information that doesn’t make sense in your head. CANNOT COMPUTE.

I hope the execution of Mike Brown and the legal system's refusal to hold Officer Wilson responsible for it, finally rips us out of our collective cognitive dissonance. I know I FINALLY GOT IT. Most of us had pinned our hopes onto the America they wanted us to believe in – NOT the one it actually IS.

(Is it possible to re-watch this lengthy, grotesque episode of PUNKED we’ve been participating in for the last few decades? I REALLY WOULD LIKE TO SEE THE PRODUCERS GIGGLING IN THE BACKGROUND.)

Imagine how devastating it is, to realize that EVERYTHING you’ve been raised and indoctrinated with, brainwashed to believe - is just some huge, fantastical FARCE. America told us if we just tried hard enough, bent over backwards convincingly enough, persevered long enough, that we really would be treated fairly and equally and reap the rewards of this country. And we bought it. But guess what? 

PSYCHE. AMERICA WAS JUST PLAYING!

A big hearty LOLZ, OMG, and WTF, because America don’t give a shit about us. WAR was declared on us eons ago, my dude, they just wanted to see how long we’d stand around and get fired on. And what MASOCHISTS we turned out to be. There is an old African tale that laments: Had we known their plans for us once they landed on our shores, we would’ve slit their throats on arrival.

Too bad on us, history says. So on to America. Where shall we begin? Let’s not even debate how we ended up in this country -  via one of the most brutal, dehumanizing forced mass migrations of a people since the beginning of the World...and let's fast forward past all that pesky enslavement and routine annihilation of black lives from 1619 to 1865. We won't even delve into the unacknowledged and unhealed emotional atrocities committed against our humanity which still affect us and everyone else in this country to this very day....

 

How about we just start with....1984, Eleanor Bumpers. Or Amadou, 1999. Who was reaching for his wallet and then shot down with 19 bullets. And what was his crime? Opinions will vary. But we swallowed it, black people, because we were keeping our eyes on the prize. Freedom, equality, and that dream.

So America upped the ante.

Jonny Gammage. Caroline Sue Botticher. Nathaniel Levi Gaines. Abner Louima.

Oh, what’s that? All that is still forgivable to you, black people? Hell, let's keep going.

Tyisha Miller. Rodney King. Names and faces of people you’ve never heard of or seen: slaughtered one by one. Like roll call on our asses.

Black people start to think: now wait a minute. Something isn't right...

Devon Brown. Sean Bell. James Brissette. Ronald Madison. New Year’s Day, 2009, Oscar Grant.

Now stall us out, America. I thought you said "we" would be protected in that Constitution you had to amend, because first we were identified as "property" and then, 3/5th of a human being?

Jordan Davis. Trayvon Martin. Mike Brown. (let’s keep going) Cameron Tillman. Vonderrit Myers. Karen Cifuentes.

The excuses became rote. "What happened to all of these people who end up conveniently murdered," they'd announce, "is that they really should’ve known better than to be standing/stretching/driving/walking/moving/breathing/existing while being black, so in the end, we know you'll always settle back down AND EAT THIS SHIT LIKE IT’S YOUR MOTHERFUCKING BIRTHRIGHT."

I'm being a tad facetious. My people have a long legacy of activism, rebellion, and revolution in this country. We made it happen. Nobody gave it to us, we took it. And progress has been made. Why, there was once a time in history when a white person could kill a black person and not be even be held accountable for it. Can you imagine? Oh, wait - that happened just the other day.

People will say: You’re getting angry again….

My reply: We've got a lot to be angry about.

Monday, November 24^th, 2014: Then, this dude McCulloch. Gets up in front of us with that smirky face, condescension dripping from his voice, to enlighten us “fact by fact,” exactly HOW the murder of Mike Brown went down, and why it was completely justified. Backslide to 1965.  Did you hear that, black folks? That was the sound of this inherent and systematically racist American justice system being shoved down our gaping, unsuspecting little throats. THE JOKE IS ON US. We bought into the game after all these years, despite all the repeated, disastrous results.

I know how it is, it’s easier to look the other way. To pretend we're not at risk because we're invested enough into the system. (VIVA la capitalism) Because we've concentrated so hard on being good Americans. And we tell our less fortunate brethren to just be quiet, get a job, pull up your pants, turn down that hippity-hop, straighten out your speech patterns and THEY just might LET YOU LIVE, TOO.

LOLZ.

Meanwhile, all of us are left standing outside a clubhouse we thought we were members of. Newsflash: They were never going to let us in.

I’ma say this and then end mine…if you aren’t down for the Africans here in the United Sates..period pointblank. If you’re not down for the ones who suffered in South Africa from apartheid and shit…then dammit you need to step your punk ass to the side, and let us brothers, and us Africans, step in and put a foot in that ass… (The Day the N&ggas Took Over, Dr. Dre, 1992)

Didn't NWA tell us in the 80's to WAKE THE FUCK UP?

 

The murder of Emmett Till sparked the civil rights movement. His mother demanded an open casket. She wanted everyone to see. What racism and violence can do, has done, to black lives in this country.

Look at him. 14 years old. Somebody’s son. A life. A human being.

1920, Duluth Minnesota. Look.

Fighting for civil rights. Don't turn away. Study this shit. Understand your enemy.

 

 

 

California, 1991. Look.

 

Missouri, 2014.

 

 

How long will they kill our prophets, while we stand aside and look? (Bob Marley) 

What's it going to take?

Confronting this level of systemic racism will require a radical and cosmic shift in our actions and thought process AT EVERY LEVEL. The murder of Mike Brown has already sparked something. We can't let it fade. We've got to build on that momentum.

Every black generation in this country has faced the same difficult task. It's time for old methods with a new twist. So we need to get comfortable with being uncomfortable. Forget all that old school nonsense, turning cheeks, being conciliatory, and holding hands while humming plantation songs and slave spirituals. Do it if you want, but I guarantee it won't change a thing. And on top of that, it makes us look ridiculous.

So what do I think. Keep protesting until we organize and agree on the next phase. And don't allow ourselves to relax back into the status quo in two months. Whatever legislation that needs to happen for mandatory police body cams, we need to get on that. Whatever the process is, for establishing civilian boards that law enforcement must answer to, we need to get on that. Perhaps this country needs to develop a Reconciliation Act, something like South Africa tried to do. But hands down the quickest way to get this country to pay attention, is by flexing our economic power. Nothing yields results like MONEY FLOW. Let's get a plan of action.

Because if you remain quiet about your pain, they'll kill you and say you enjoyed it.  ~ Zora Neale Hurston.

To be continued.